The Evil Goth Gnome is a mischievous, monochromic garden gnome hailing from the shadowy corners of Wales, where he resides in quiet contemplation (when not napping in unlikely spots or plotting minor mischief). Far from your average lawn ornament, he claims mastery over ancient gnome secrets, having allegedly taught the Weeping Angels their famous stone-freezing trick, and spends his days communing with a loyal Welsh Corgi named Gelert, defending dragons, and dispensing cryptic wisdom.

As an author under Pendragon Press, Evil Goth Gnome writes in the realms of comedy, motivational absurdity, and gnome mysticism. His notable works include Keep Calm and Listen to The Gnome, a collection of mystical gnome advice and motivational quotes to navigate life's hardships, as well as Covid Christmas Carols: Sing away your fears, a quirky pandemic-era creation. He describes his favourite genre as "Gardening Books" (because gardening counts as horror when you're a gnome dealing with oversized humans and their boots).

You can find him lurking on X as @EvilGothGnome, where he shares words of gnome wisdom, random musings, and the occasional book promotion. 

In his own words: There is no such thing as "A Simple Garden Gnome."

A Ninja Grandmaster once explained to me that a good way to find answers, is to pick up a special book and just close your eyes, think upon your question, or issue and open the book to a random page. This way the Universe will provide the answer.

We now live in times where we are surrounded by doubt, worry, questions and upset. I have been thinking upon his wise words a lot and have decided to gather 30 (Not Random) quotes that I hope will be of help.

So, close your eyes, think of your question/worry and jump to a random page, Trust in the mystical powers of the Gnomes to give you help and advice. Sometimes you need a motivational quote to get you through the hard time. And who is more motivational than Garden Gnomes?

Please note that any Money made from this book is all going to Charity!

THIS YEAR HAS BEEN ONE DISASTER AFTER ANOTHER. We have had a large chunk of the world on fire, Natural disasters popping up all over the globe. Murder Hornets, and the worst global pandemic since the black plague.

It is so bad that Christmas has been cancelled, and the levels of depression after 9 months of lockdowns, restrictions, not seeing friends and family is at an all-time high. We are in a bad place, the worst timeline.

To try and bring some cheer, I decided to sing my little gnome heart out over Twitter. But what could I sing? Christmas Caroling is outlawed due to bans on singing, groups, going outside, standing by anyone, etc.

I present to you a collection of Carols for 2020. Covid Carols. I have put them together in this little book which I am going to put on that Amazon thing for a small fee. Any money made from the sale of this book will be donated to charity.

Please note that any Money made from this book is all going to Charity!